I Am Idol

I am still not entirely sure how I feel about what I am going to share with you right now. When looking back upon this experience I move between being incredibly pleased with myself and a little bit embarrassed. This is how I'm going to spin it: I did this so all of my beloved friends will never have to because, trust me on this one, you don't want to.

I am going to start this story with the end. We didn't make it through. We're not upset or bitter, and I'm not just saying that. We went into this pretty much knowing that would be the result. We did it for the experience. We did it so we could tell people (and I could write on my blog), "I tried out for American Idol." Surprised? No. I'm sure none of my friends are even raising their eyebrows at this news. Of course I would try out for American Idol. I'm aware I'm the most predictable person in the world, but admit it. You are the tiniest bit curious what it was like. Well, that is the other reason I did it - to let others know what it was like. One word: miserable.

At 3:30am, when Brooke came into my room to make sure I was awake, she said, "This sucks." I agreed, but we were committed to our cause. We left our house with our friend Arielle at 4:15 arriving at the new Cowboy stadium at 5. We realized while being corralled into line that we were the three contestants with the worst attitudes. We were surrounded by the all the crazies you would expect at an American Idol audition like the girl dressed as a bumblebee and the cross dresser with a life size cut-out of Zac Efron. We were so tired and easily frustrated by all the camera whores, who would push us out of the way as soons as a golf cart with a camera crew would drive by. We watched with distaste as indie boys with weird hair pulled out their guitars and tried to impress the girls in slinky dresses. Brooke pointed out that bringing a guitar was a blatant disregard of the rules we had recieved when registering. After two hours of sitting outside the stadium, we were allowed inside. It was a complete free for all to find our seats. We pushed our way through thousands of delusional hopefuls like ourselves to find our seats in section 119. Then, we got to spend two hours cheering on cue for the camera. We all had to sing "My Life Would Suck Without You" over and over for use on the audition show. Guess who didn't learn the song. That would be me. We had to cheer and scream, "I'm the next American Idol!" about a hundred times while the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders were paraded around. After a half an hour of that, Brooke, Arielle and I sat ourselves down and didn't participate anymore. Finally, they began the audition process starting with section 100. I don't know how many people were actually there, but it took five hours until they hit our section. I was shocked at how few people they let through. It appeared they only gave a yellow ticket to 1 out of every 100 people or so. Also, I just want to clear up a misconstruction you may have. Paula, Randy, Simon and Ryan were not at this audition. We were singing for producers(?). There is a second round where you actually sing for Paula, Randy and Simon. Brooke, Arielle and I wandered around while we waited our turn to sing. We took naps on the ground, made friends with people who we'll never see again, and listened as people practiced their songs. There is this common misconception in Dallas (and I'm assuming the rest of the country) that the louder you sing, the better you sound. It was deafening in there. Finally, it was our turn. We walked up to the tables in groups of four and sang about 45 seconds of a song. As I said before, we were all dismissed. Arielle and I were in the same group, and we were told they were looking for more experience for the 9th season. Brooke's group was told they were looking for stronger voices, which is a little weird because if you know Brooke, you know she can out-sing just about anyone. We all sort of agreed that the judges were going to pass on us no matter what. I'm not sure what the requirements are or what the cut-off is, but my judge didn't even look up. After we were pushed way, our wristbands were snipped, and we were sent to find our car in the endless parking lots of the football stadium. It was about 105 degrees, and maybe we lost our car for a little while. We were all tired, cranky and dripping with sweat. After Sonic Cherry Limeades and a nice, long nap, we could laugh about our American Idol experience. You know how you hear of people trying out for American Idol multiple times? Those people are nuts!

Also - look for me on the Dallas audition episode. I'm the one sitting down and yawning!