I Am a Would You Rather-er

I am a huge fan of the game "Would You Rather." I have used to it to pass countless cross-country hours in the family suburban, make potentially awkward social situations kind of fun, and, of course, as a sure fire procrastination technique. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the game, it's simply a series of questions where you choose between two different situations. Normally, half the fun of the game is making up the questions, but, for beginners or those of us that are less creative, they do sell Would You Rather books. My sister actually owns one, and I would be lying if I said we haven't answered every single question in the book. One particular night of procrastination, my roommates and I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning strewn across my bed answering Would You Rather questions between bouts of hysterical laughter. But I don't want to talk about the hypothetical Would You Rather game, I want to talk about the real life Would You Rather questions I continually find myself having to answer. And, like the game, there seems to be no right choice in these situations.

I am always finding myself in dilemmas where I have to play a quick game of Would You Rather. I assume this is true of most people, but sometimes I find that I am alone in these quirky life practices. Here's an example of what I mean: I had lunch at Einstein's Brothers the other day. When I was paying, the boy at the cash register said, "Hello. Welcome to Einstein's" or "Hello. How are you today?" Unfortunately, in a typical teenage minimum wage job way, the boy barely moved his mouth when he spoke and what I heard was, "Hello. Mumble mumble mumble mumble." Because I do interact with people regularly, I was able to take a guess that he said one of those two things, but I wasn't sure which. So, I was faced with a dilemma. Would I rather look rude or like an idiot? If he said, "Hello. How are you?" and I choose not to answer, I look rude, but if he said, "Hello. Welcome to Einstein's" and I said, "Fine, and how are you?" I would look like a complete moron. I chose to be rude. After a few seconds, an Einstein's coworker standing nearby said, "I'm fine. How are you?" answering the question obviously intended for me, as he apparently felt I had left a verbal high five hanging. I felt like I had been chastised. When I relayed this situation to my roommate, she said, "Why didn't you just ask the kid what he said?" Uh, because, in reality, I actually am an idiot and that never even occurred to me. So, that backfired and I ended up looking like a rude idiot. Great. There's no winning in these things. What are your real life Would You Rather questions? And, if you want to play the game online, click here!