I was under the impression that I would finish my "discovering" in college. Once graduated, I would know exactly who I was, what I supposed to be doing, and there would be this marvelous life mapped out for me. Armed with my new diploma from BYU, I have found this is not the case. The I AM blog is a record of self-discovery (and the joy, worry, accomplishment and failure that accompanies such self-discovery) as I strive to find a place for myself in this world.
of these excerpts from talks Gordon B. Hinckley, Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995 - 2008, gave to women:
'Woman is God's supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.'
'You are very precious, each of you, regardless of your circumstances. You occupy a high and sacred place in the eternal plan of God, our Father in Heaven. You are His daughters, precious to Him, loved by Him, and very important to Him. His grand design cannot succeed without you.'
'There has come to you as your birthright something beautiful and sacred and divine. Never forget that. Your Eternal Father is the great Master of the universe. He rules over all, but He also will listen to you prayers as His daughter and hear you as you speak with Him. He will answer your prayers. He will not leave you alone.'
'You must know...that you are not alone in this world. There are hundreds of thousands of you. You live in many lands. You speak various languages. And every one of you has something divine within you. You are second to none. You are daughters of God.'
'First, educate your hands and your minds. You belong to a church which espouses education...Get all the education you can. Train yourselves to make a contribution to the society in which you will live. There is an essence of the divine in the improvement of the mind.'
'I have often thought if great numbers of the women of all nations were to unite and lift their voices in the cause of peace, there would develop a worldwide will for peace, which could save our civilization and avoid untold suffering, misery, plague, starvation and the deaths of millions.'
I am an Oprah fan. Really, who isn't? I'm not fan in the sense that I regularly watch her show or that I subscribe to her magazine or even that I follow her book club, yet I am still a fan because I want to be Oprah. Let's look at the facts: she's rich, she has an amazing job, she has a staff that is probably equal to the population of, I don't know, Rhode Island, she vacations and travels wherever her heart desires, she is always impeccably dressed, she supports a variety of charities and goodwill causes, and she's friends with celebrities and politicians, who all seem to genuinely like her. That, to me, seems like the recipe to a pretty great life - maybe just a little better than the life of an income-less twenty-something daily fighting the demons of standardized testing. Maybe. My favorite Oprah episodes are the yearly Favorite Things episodes. I love knowing what Oprah loves, and I have been more than a little persuaded by her glowing reviews (anyone remember the Pumpkin face mask of maybe 2004? Yup, I own it). In light of the the upcoming holidays, I decided that I wanted to put together a Favorite Things list. My Favorite Things will be different from Oprah's Favorite Things because I'm not giving anything away. Instead, I'm just sharing the things that I've loved this year mainly because I'm sick of studying today. While contemplating what would go on my list, I realized that I also have a secret second list. It is the "This Would Be A Favorite Thing If I Could Afford to Buy It" list. I guess this second list is arguably a wish list, but my real wish list includes things that can't be purchased like getting into my first-choice law school or marrying a man with a trustfund. This second list is a list of things that could I afford, I would most definitely be obsessed with them. Okay, enough chit-chat, here are the lists:
Lauren's Favorite Things of 2009
1. Flower Earrings. Several years ago, I would only wear long, long earrings. This year, I only want posts. And I only posts with flowers. I think they're classic, dainty and elegant, while still being fun and whimsical. I have a ton, and I want more. My mom actually just asked me if I was trying for one in every color. I've found some beautiful pairs at Darlybird, Anthropologie, and Urban Outfitters. The two pictured below, the ones I'm wearing in my banner, and a diamond and sapphire pair that I don't have a picture of are my favorites (yes, I have four favorites).
2. The Braid Headband. I first saw this hairstyle on Gossip Girl, and I was like, "Gossip Girl, why do you torment with amazing hairstyles that I most likely cannot recreate? xoxo." Later, I saw Jennifer Aniston rocking it the Academy Awards. While I didn't really think it was a formal enough hairstyle for the occasion, I still thought it looked so cool, and I was envious of Jennifer's hair. I began seeing just regular girls walking down the street with the braid headband, and I was like, "Okay. If they can do it, I can." I've discovered that it is the easiest hairstyle. It takes me literally five minutes to do, and I feel trendy all day.
3. Easy Virtue. This is easily my favorite movie that has come out of 2009. I had never even heard of it, but my friend and I regularly go see movies we've never heard of at the Angelika, a theater that shows independent films. We're not usually disappointed, and in this case, we were thrilled. I don't particularly like Jessica Biel, the star of Easy Virtue, but she was perfect. The movie is smart, funny, impeccably timed and a refreshing change from the formulaic comedies I'm so used to seeing. Certain parts of the movie had my friend and I laughing so hard, and I left thinking, "I'm so going to buy that!"
5. Red Nail Polish. I've been wearing nail polish pretty regularly for as long as I can remember. Prior to this year, my color of choice was pink except for a six-month stint when I just wanted to wear black. This year, I want red, red, red. And I'm very particular. I don't want a red with too much orange or too much pink. I want it to be cherry red, Christmas red, blood red. I think it's so feminine and quite retro. The color that works for me is Big Apple Red by OPI.
6. Tomato Soup From La Madeleine. I first tried this soup after attending the Inaugural Kick-Off Concert. I was frozen, tired and a little uncomfortable, but so happy with the residual thrill of the concert and in the company of friends. The soup was warm and delicious and somehow familiar. It was the perfect end to the night. Since then, my love affair has continued. The soup is tangy and not sauce-like at all. I cannot get enough of it. You can actually purchase bottles of the soup and I do...in packs of three.
7. 30 Rock. I know the show is in it's 4 season, but I did not start watching until this summer. Immediately, I was hooked. It's quirky, unexpected, and I literally laugh out loud every time I watch it. All of the characters are amazing; I can't even pick a favorite!
8.Cirque Du Soliel Love. My dad went on a business trip to Vegas and saw this show. A couple months later, he brought our family to Vegas and made sure we saw it as well because he knew how much we'd absolutely love it. I've never seen anything like Love - it totally blew my mind. The entire time I was watching, I was completely enthralled and praying it would never end. Plus, Beatles music is the perfect background to just about anything.
9. Bruises by Chairlift. This is my favorite song of 2009. Yes, I did first hear it in an ipod commercial. I feel like that immediately kills my credibility as an indie-music lover and makes people think the song is a sell-out (can songs be sell-outs?), but please don't be deterred by this fact. The song is oh-so catchy and really fun. I love the lyrics. (The video I'm posting is just the audio. There's no corresponding pictures.)
Lauren's Favorite Things She Can't Afford of 2009
1. A Painting By Cassandra Barney. Brooke actually introduced me to Cassandra Barney. She attended a lecture the artist gave at BYU earlier this year. I love the paintings because they center around women and the principles, ideas, and discoveries that come with being a woman. They're haunting, deep, and beautiful. I want one! Unfortunately, I do not have the $1000+ required for an original or the $300+ required for a reproduction. The four below are four of my favorites. I think I like the first one so much because she's blonde like me, and she's a princess. Weird that I would like that...
2. A Diane Von Furstenburg dress. I feel like owning a Diane Von Furstenburg dress means you've made it, and when it wear, people know you've made it. You are the ultimate young, independent woman working some glamorous job, attending urban parties and staying busy being fabulous all the way around. I want the life...and the dress that goes with it!
3. Chelsea Morning Flats from Anthropologie. I was browsing shoes one day when I found these. I was like, "YES!" (that is, until I saw the price). I am constantly looking for adorable flats. These have a great pattern, color scheme, and a funky bow detail. Unfortunately, they're $300. What the what?! Did Anthro sprinkle them with gold dust or something? Come on! Oh well, a girl can dream.
4.A Flat In Paris. Could this please just be the view from my living room?
5. A Prague Vacation. My friend Ashley and I have gotten into our heads that we want to go to Europe for spring break. Somehow in the planning of this trip, "Europe" became "Prague," and now I can't get it out of my head. While it's not a huge tourist spot, I've heard from several people, whose international travel advice I trust, that Prague is one of their favorite places. I daily search for affordable airfare, and my hunger for Prague just continues to grow.
6. An iPhone. I swear I am the only person without one. In D.C., I had major iPhone envy. It's gotten better since then because now that I'm not working or in school, I don't have a real reason to want/need/obsess over my inbox anymore. Better though it may be, the desire is still real and still there. My friend Olga just wrote an amazing blog post about her new iPhone. I laughed really hard because it was so, so funny (all her posts are), but I was also pea green with envy. Also, I don't think you sold out, Olga. I think you're incredibly lucky!
So, that's it! Those are my Favorite Things lists of 2009! Okay, your turn! What are you favorite things? Seriously. I'm curious!
I am a Halloween enthusiast. I always have been. Those of you who either know me personally or have been reading this blog for a while know that I: a) love to dress up, b) love delicious treats, and c) enjoy scaring myself for no discernible reason. All three of these things come to a blessed union on Halloween. For one night of the year, it is socially acceptable to wear ridiculous costumes, eat chocolate until you're sick, and stay up all night because you're feeling a little uneasy and possibly the devil is lurking outside your bedroom door. So, for one night of the year, it is socially acceptable to be me.
I am, I know, a little too old to go trick-or-treating. That tradition ended years ago for me, and I've never stopped missing it. As a twenty-something, I'm expected to watch a scary movie or frolic through an old Parisian cemetery, or attend a party in full costume or break into an abandoned house in the mountains or make my teary-eyed way through a Haunted House that was NOT a good idea in the first place, but it's like been there done that, you know? (Yes, that was a list of how I spent every Halloween while in college. Why?). This year, I wasn't sure what I was going to be doing. I had limited options definitely, but that didn't matter because I knew exactly what I was going to be doing when I heard my friends from down the street discussing their costumes - I was going to go trick-or-treating! I am very good friends with Amy, the mother of the children who appear so often on this blog, and she and I used Halloween as an excuse to talk and laugh while trailing behind darling, sugar-happy Clown, Vampire and Wolverine. To be honest, I don't know if I used Amy, Macey, Charlie and Cael as an excuse to go trick-or-treating or if I used trick-or-treating as an excuse to be with them. Either way, it was such a fun night in the true Halloween tradition. Plus, three-year-olds never catch on to the fact that you're eating their candy.
of this quote from Thomas S. Monson, Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
When we remember that each of us is literally a spirit son or daughter of God, we will not find it difficult to approach our Heavenly Father in prayer. He appreciates the value of this raw material which we call life. 'Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God' (D&C 18:10). His pronouncement inspires purpose in our lives.
I am studying for the LSAT right now. I mean, literally. I am literally surrounded by books, pieces of scratch paper, pencils, erasers and a laptop with my test prep webpage pulled up. Technically, I guess I'm taking a break, but really I'm in the middle of a workshop on flaw questions. Want to know something I hate? Flaw questions. At this point in the workshop, I learning about different types of flaw. And I happen to be on "equivocation."
"The author may equivocate, or use a single term in different ways in the course of an argument."
The example given is, "I love macaroni and cheese. Therefore, I'd like to marry it." The problem, you see, is that the first love means "extreme liking for," and "marry" refers to romantic love. Okay, check. I see the flaw. Wait, what's this? Upon reading the example, a quote from 30 Rock popped in my head. First, I was incredibly delighted because I think 30 Rock is hilarious. Then, I felt annoyed with myself because I realized that I now relate everything back to the LSAT. It happens daily and with more and more frequency. It's quite disturbing. Anyway, here is the use of equivocation from 30 Rock:
I love 30 rock so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. I do not feel the same way about the studying...
I am in an LSAT prep course. I definitely think I'm improving, but this improvement is at the expense of emotional well-being and dignity. In the class sessions I've attended so far, I have felt so totally dense, clueless and frustrated, and I have left 3 of the 4 classes with a pounding headache. As in anything, I have strengths and weakness with regard to the test. Unfortunately, my weaknesses are very weak, and I have trouble wrapping my brain around the concepts necessary to improving those areas. Hence, the pounding headaches.
I am also pretty sure I have an anxiety problem. When I went to class on Wednesday, I was so nervous my hands were shaking. Wednesday was my third time in the class. During my first class, I quickly learned that Shawn (okay, that's not actually my instructor's name. I changed it. My instructor is American, but his name is foreign to my ears. What I mean is it's not John or Dan or even D'Relle; it's definitely not Western, but it sounds sort of similiar to Shawn, so Shawn he shall be on the I Am blog.) just calls on people for the answer. He'll just be like, "Lauren. What is the conclusion, evidence and assumption? And what is the correct answer choice?" Every time, I feel myself start to flush. The reddening starts at the back corners of my jaw and quickly expands up and out across my face. Instead of being able to concentrate on the question at hand, which I inevitabely do not understand, I can only think, "Oh my gosh, I have a tomato face right now." I usually can stumble through some sort of answer that may or may not be right, but my face burns brighter all the while. I also feel like it takes me 500 words to say something that a normal, not-panicky person could say in 5. This just adds to my confusion and humiliation. Shawn is always like, "Okay...well, that's a little too far. You don't need all the background information. Just the evidence." Of course, the questions that I do totally understand and absolutely know the answer for, I am not called on. Did I mention there are only five people in the class, and we're there for four hours? As you can imagine, this embarrassment happens a KAJILLION times an evening. I know that the reason I freak out is became I'm so afraid of looking stupid. I feel like everyone else in the class (all 4 of them) are truly advanced, most likely geniuses, and understand everything being taught. I am the lone dumb ranger. Also, I don't want Shawn to think I'm an idiot. I have this weird thing where I want my teachers to think I'm capable and smart (remember Dr. Intimidation from last Fall?). I don't know why it's so important to me, but I have always worried about what people think. This weird hang-up of mine is not conducive to settings where I am learning brand-new ways of thinking. Oh, heavens...what have I gotten myself into?
